Frustration is a natural emotion in all of us. It is between 6 and 8 years old when children are just beginning to deal with it on a deeper level. At this age they are still developing their skills to manage emotions and face challenges. If frustration is not managed appropriately, it has negative consequences on the child's behavior and development in the future. Consequences that can carry well into adulthood. In this article, we explain what frustration is, as it manifests at this age, what causes it, and what you can do to help your son or daughter manage it.

What is frustration?

Frustration is a normal human emotion experienced when we encounter obstacles that prevent us from achieving our goals or desires. It is a common emotional response to opposition, related to anger and disappointment.

Causes of frustration in children

Frustration does not arise out of nowhere, it is a response to external stimuli. That is, it is multifactorial, in most cases. Some of the most common causes of frustration in children are:

• Lack of skills: When children do not have the necessary skills to perform a task or achieve a goal, it is normal for them to become frustrated.
• Unrealistic Expectations: Children who set goals that are too high or have unrealistic expectations about their abilities can easily become frustrated.
• Temperament: Some children simply have a temperament that is more prone to frustration than others.
• Interference: When someone or something interferes with the child's goal, such as a sibling taking away a toy, it is normal to generate frustration.
• Lack of control: Children who feel that they have no control over their environment or the situations around them.
• Too many rules: If they live in an environment with too many rules or restrictions they may feel repressed and frustrated.
• Lack of attention: Children who do not receive the attention or support they need from their parents or caregivers often feel neglected and frustrated.
• Inconsistency: When minors live in an inconsistent environment, where the rules constantly change or the reasons for things are not explained to them.
• Changes: Changes in routine, such as moving to a new house or the arrival of a new sibling, can be a source of frustration for children.
• Hungry, sleepy, or tired: Children who haven't eaten, gotten enough sleep regression in babies, or are tired are more prone to irritability and frustration.
• Learning or development problems: Some children with learning difficulties or developmental problems tend to experience frustration more frequently.
• Abuse or neglect: Children who suffer abuse or neglect often have low self-esteem and low tolerance for frustration.

Signs of frustration in children

Children are very expressive, they do not yet have the filter of maturity. Therefore, when they feel frustrated they show clear signs, although it is true that the vast majority of times these signs are not conscious or on purpose. Because of this, it is vital to observe their behavior in detail so that we, as responsible adults, can identify them and take action. Frustration in children can be seen through signs such as:

• Crying “out of nowhere” or in an “exaggerated” way
• Complaints
• Screams
• Abuse
• Refusal to speak
• Phrases like "I can't", "It's very difficult" or "I don't want to do it" when faced with the slightest obstacle
• Kicks
• Hits
• Bites
• Get down on the floor
• Creep
• Facial expressions of anger or sadness
• Sudden body movements
• Tantrums in children
• Impatience
• Aggressiveness
• Disobedience
• Lack of concentration
• Difficulty following instructions
• Task abandonment
• Social isolation
• Changes in appetite or sleep
• Difficulty controlling other emotions
• Complaints of headache or stomach pain
• Poor school performance

Consequences of poorly managed frustration

The feeling of continuous and unaddressed frustration has consequences. These consequences can be both short-term and long-term, as well as emotional and/or physical. We tell you about them below:

Behavior problems

Children who do not learn to manage their frustration appropriately tend to develop disruptive behaviors, such as tantrums, aggression (physical or verbal) toward other children or adults, and defiance. For them, these behaviors are the only way they can express what they feel.

Social difficulties

The inability to manage frustration causes problems in social interactions. These problems translate into difficulties making or keeping friends if they respond to frustration with anger, withdrawal, or disruptive behavior. As a consequence, the minor tends to social isolation or conflicts with peers and adults.

Low self-esteem

Children who get frustrated easily and don't know how to deal with these feelings begin to doubt their abilities. If frustration prevents them from achieving their goals or participating in extracurricular activities for kids with their peers, they develop a negative self-image, feeling useless and incapable.

Anxiety and stress

Poor frustration management can contribute to the development of anxiety and stress disorders. If you feel like you cannot control your emotions or the situations that cause you frustration, you will experience increased anxiety and stress, which has detrimental effects on both your mental and physical health.

Learning problems

When they feel overwhelmed by frustration, they often have difficulty concentrating, paying attention, or persisting in the face of academic challenges, thus affecting their school performance.

Development of inadequate coping mechanisms

If children do not learn to manage their frustration in a healthy way, they are more likely to resort to negative self-regulation mechanisms, such as avoidance, denial, or using aggressive behaviors as a way to handle stressful situations in the future.

How to work on frustration in children? Tips

It is essential that you work on frustration at home. It is at home where children must learn to identify, navigate and deal with emotions, all of them. We understand perfectly well that this is not easy and that you may not have any idea where to start, so we give you the following 10 tips:

Validate the child's emotions

The main thing is to recognize and validate your child's feelings without minimizing their importance. Phrases like “I see that this is bothering you a lot” or “It's normal to feel this way” can be very comforting. This validation is the first step in teaching them to manage their emotions in a healthy way, not to reject them.

Facilitate the identification of emotions

Help your child recognize and name their emotions. Using interactive stories, games and educational activities can make this learning more enjoyable and effective, establishing a solid foundation for the development of their emotional intelligence.

Promote problem solving skills

Encourage your child to identify the cause of his frustration and think of possible solutions. Offering options and allowing them to choose reinforces their sense of autonomy and confidence in their own decisions. Celebrate their attempts and efforts, regardless of the results.

Set realistic expectations

Adjust your expectations to your child's abilities and stage of development. Understanding that error is part of learning fosters an environment of patience and acceptance. Celebrating small achievements without making comparisons with others is essential.

Create a safe environment

Make sure your child feels loved, valued and understood at home. Active listening and unconditional support are pillars for your emotional security, allowing you to approach future challenges with confidence.

Practice patience and empathy

Managing frustration is an ongoing process that requires patience and understanding. Your response to frustration serves as a model, so it is crucial to manage your own emotions constructively.

Consult professionals when necessary

If difficulties managing frustration persist or if you are very worried, seeking professional advice will provide you with strategies tailored to the needs of your child and your family.

Encourage healthy expression of emotions

Encourage your child to express their emotions in ways that are not harmful to them or others. Activities such as drawing, writing or sports can be healthy outlets for your feelings.

Tools designed for them

Sometimes we forget that children integrate and understand knowledge differently than us, that perhaps something “very logical” or “very obvious” is not so obvious to them. When you are teaching your child something new, look for tools designed for them. For example, if your child is learning the time, there are kiddus time teacher from the Kiddus brand created for moments like this, or if they are learning fractions in mathematics for example, there are cookbooks for children designed to help them learn while they cook.

Teach relaxation techniques

Teach your child simple relaxation practices, such as deep breathing, guided meditation for children, or age-appropriate mindfulness exercises. These tools not only help them calm frustration in the moment, but also help them manage stress in the long term.

Benefits of teaching frustration tolerance in children

Learning to manage their emotions will bring your child benefits such as:

Resilience and adaptability in the face of adversity

Children who develop frustration tolerance show greater resilience and ability to adapt to changes and challenges. This inner strength allows them to persevere in the face of obstacles without giving up, approach problems constructively, and seek creative solutions.

Effective emotional regulation

The ability to manage frustration is directly linked to better regulation of negative emotions, such as anger, sadness or anxiety. Children learn to express their feelings in a healthy way, avoiding aggressive or impulsive behavior. This leads to robust self-esteem and solid self-confidence.

Enriched social relationships

Frustration tolerance favors the development of advanced social skills. Those children who are able to manage their frustration will be more empathetic, cooperative and able to handle differences and conflicts peacefully.

Improvement in academic performance

The benefits of frustration tolerance extend to the academic field. That is, it allows them to be able to concentrate better on their tasks, learn from their mistakes and persist in the face of academic challenges. This proactive and perseverant attitude is a key predictor of academic success.

Greater satisfaction and happiness

Finally, in general terms they tend to be happier children and be more satisfied with their lives. They adopt a more optimistic attitude and enjoy the small moments more, which allows them to face setbacks with a more positive reinforcement and resilient perspective.

Conclusion

Teaching your child to manage frustration is one of the best investments you can make for their future. Learning to deal with emotions as strong as this gives them

tools to apply in all areas of life. It helps them create discipline and be able to achieve their goals without sacrificing their health, whether physical or mental, in the process.