Secure Attachment in Children: What it is, Importance and How to Promote It

Secure Attachment in Children: What it is, Importance and How to Promote It

Secure Attachment in Children: What it is, Importance and How to Promote It

Secure attachment in children refers to the emotional bond that develops between a child and their primary caregivers, generally parents or those who fulfill that role. This type of attachment is characterized by the child's trust that his emotional and physical needs will be met in a consistent and sensitive manner. The concept of secure attachment was introduced by psychologist John Bowlby and later developed by Mary Ainsworth.

What is secure attachment?                                                                                   

Secure attachment is a concept developed in attachment theory, which was introduced by psychologist John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth. It refers to the type of emotional bond that forms between a child and his or her primary caregivers, generally parents.

Characteristics of secure attachment

Proximity and Closeness

Securely attached children seek physical and emotional closeness with their caregivers when they feel insecure or need comfort.

Reliable Exploration

Despite seeking proximity, securely attached children feel safe to explore their environment, knowing they have a safe place to return to.

Responsive Responsiveness

Caregivers of securely attached children respond sensitively and consistently to the child's needs. They are attentive to the child's cues and provide comfort and support appropriately.

Secure attachment is essential for a child's healthy development. It provides a strong emotional foundation that influences your ability to form healthy relationships, regulate your emotions, and face challenges. Securely attached children tend to develop higher self-esteem, self-confidence, and stronger social skills. This type of attachment is formed through repeated and consistent interactions between the child and his or her caregivers during the first years of life. These interactions create a sense of security and trust in the child, allowing them to explore the world more independently and develop a solid emotional foundation.

Importance of secure attachment in child development

Emotional Development

Secure attachment is essential for a child's healthy emotional development. It gives them the emotional security necessary to explore the world and face new experiences.

Trust and Autonomy

Securely attached children develop a foundation of trust that allows them to explore their environment more independently, knowing that they have an emotional refuge to which they can turn.

Social Relationships

Secure attachment lays the foundation for healthy social relationships in the future. Children who experience secure attachment tend to develop stronger social and emotional skills.


A secure attachment provides children with a solid emotional foundation that can help them better cope with stress and adversity throughout life.

Phases of attachment in childhood

Pre-Attachment Attachment Phase (0 to 6 weeks)

During the first six weeks of life, babies show innate responses and comfort signals, but have not yet developed a specific attachment to a caregiver.

Undifferentiated Attachment Formation Phase (from 6 weeks to 6-8 months)

In this period, babies begin to show preferences for familiar figures and respond positively to their presence. They don't show separation anxiety yet.

Specific Attachment Phase (6-8 months to 18 months)

Having reached this phase, babies develop a more specific attachment to certain caregivers. They begin to show separation anxiety and may protest when separated from the attachment figure.

Reciprocal Attachment Phase (from 18 months onwards)

As children grow, they develop the ability to understand the expectations and wishes of their caregivers. The relationship becomes more reciprocal, with the child actively participating in the interaction and showing a more complete understanding of emotions.

Exploration and Attachment (2-3 years)

During this phase, young children continue to explore the world around them but seek the security and comfort of their attachment figures, usually their parents. They can wander off to explore.

Continuing Secure Attachment (3-6 years)

Children seek the proximity and emotional security of their caregivers, but they also begin to explore the world more independently. Although they can play and socialize with other children, the attachment figure remains a central source of emotional support.

Social Exploration (6-12 years)

As children enter the school years, they expand their social circle beyond the family. They begin to form meaningful friendships and learn more complex social skills. Although the attachment figure remains important, social independence increases.

Identity Development (12-18 years)

It is in adolescence where young people seek greater independence and autonomy. Although they may experience tensions in their relationship with parents, the attachment figure remains crucial in providing emotional support and guidance in identity formation.

How to promote secure attachment in children?

Sensitive Response

Responding sensitively and consistently to the child's needs, especially in times of distress or confusion.

Physical and Emotional Care

Provide physical and emotional care, such as hugs, petting, and words of encouragement.

Establish Routines

Predictable and consistent routines provide security and structure for the child.

Quality Time

Spending quality time with the child, participating in playful activities and providing positive attention.

Encourage Exploration

Allow and encourage exploration of the environment, showing confidence in the child's abilities.

Games that promote secure attachment in childhood

Imitation Games

Participating in imitation games where the child imitates the actions of his or her caregivers or vice versa. This not only strengthens the bond, but also helps the child develop social and cognitive skills.

Sensory Games

Games that involve the senses, such as touching different textures, playing with putty, or exploring sensory objects as sunglasses for children of  Kiddus . These tactile activities strengthen emotional connection through physical contact and shared exploration.

Gaze and Smile Games

Holding your gaze and smiling is a powerful form of non-verbal communication that strengthens attachment. Simple games that involve looking into each other's eyes and smiling, such as making faces or playing tickle, can be very effective.

Hide and Seek Games

Simple hide-and-seek games in which the caregiver hides behind hands or a blanket and then reappears. This helps children understand that people can leave and come back, strengthening confidence that temporary separations are safe.

Stories and Joint Reading

Sharing moments of reading is an excellent way to strengthen attachment. Co-reading provides a calm, welcoming environment for emotional connection while exploring short stories together.

Role Playing

In role playing for children, children and caregiver assume different roles and scenarios. This encourages creativity, cooperation, and emotional connection through shared play.

Outdoor Play

Try any of the 20 outdoor games, such as park games, bike rides, or simply exploring nature together, offer opportunities to share experiences and create positive memories.

Special Rituals and Routines

Establish specific rituals and routines before bed or during other key times of the day. These rituals provide predictability and security, essential elements for secure attachment.

Can secure attachment develop in adulthood?

Yes, it is possible to develop and improve attachment patterns in adulthood through experience, reflection, and, in some cases, therapy. Although attachment is primarily formed early in life, relationships in adulthood can influence the security and quality of emotional bonds.

Some factors that may contribute to the development of secure attachment in adulthood include:

Healthy Relationships

Establishing and maintaining healthy relationships based on trust, empathy, and mutual support can contribute to the development of secure attachment in adulthood.

Open Communication

Open and honest communication in relationships allows the expression of emotional needs and promotes mutual understanding, strengthening the emotional bond.


Reflecting on past experiences and self-awareness can help you understand attachment patterns and work to change those that may be less healthy.


Therapy, such as couples therapy or individual therapy, can be helpful in addressing underlying issues, improving communication, and strengthening emotional bonds.

Personal Development

Personal growth and emotional maturity can contribute to the development of more secure and satisfying relationships.

It is important to keep in mind that changing attachment patterns can take time and effort. Additionally, a relationship with a trained therapist can be beneficial in exploring and addressing specific aspects of attachment patterns.

In summary, although attachment has its roots in childhood, experiences and relationships in adulthood can influence the security and quality of emotional bonds. Consciously working on self-awareness, effective communication, and building healthy relationships can contribute to the development of more secure attachment patterns in adult life.

Benefits of secure attachment in adult life

The development of a secure attachment in childhood has been shown to have a number of benefits in adult life. Here are some of the benefits associated with a secure attachment:

Healthy Interpersonal Relationships

Securely attached people tend to develop healthier interpersonal relationships as adults. They are able to trust others, establish solid emotional bonds, and maintain more stable and satisfying relationships.

Greater Emotional Resilience

Secure attachment provides a solid emotional foundation that contributes to greater emotional resilience. Securely attached people tend to handle stress, adversity, and emotional pressures better.

Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Securely attached individuals tend to develop stronger self-esteem and self-confidence. The emotional security they experienced in childhood positively influences their perception of themselves and their ability to face challenges.

Developed Social Skills

Secure attachment is associated with the development of strong social skills. People with this type of attachment tend to be more competent at communication, empathy, and conflict resolution in their relationships.

Exploration and Autonomy

Those with a secure attachment tend to be more likely to explore the world and seek autonomy in healthy ways. They feel the confidence necessary to face new challenges and make independent decisions.

Mental Health

Secure attachment has been linked to a lower risk of mental health problems in adulthood. Securely attached people are less likely to experience anxiety, depression, or other emotional disorders.

Ability to Form Stable Affective Bonds

Securely attached people are usually able to form and maintain stable and long-lasting emotional relationships. They have the ability to engage and build deep, meaningful bonds with others.

Improved Work and Academic Performance

The emotional security associated with a secure attachment can positively influence academic and work performance. Self-confidence and the ability to establish effective interpersonal relationships are valuable assets in various areas of life.


In conclusion, secure attachment is a fundamental concept in attachment theory that describes a healthy and secure emotional bond between a child and his or her caregivers. This type of attachment, developed through sensitive and consistent interactions, has a significant influence on the child's emotional, social and cognitive development. Throughout the different stages of life, from childhood to adulthood, the benefits of secure attachment are evident.

Learn about highly sensitive child traits

Securely attached children tend to experience healthier interpersonal relationships, develop emotional resilience, possess strong self-esteem and self-confidence, and have well-developed social skills. These positive qualities extend into adulthood, where securely attached people are more likely to establish stable emotional relationships, face challenges more successfully, and enjoy lasting emotional well-being.

It is important to recognize that, although attachment is primarily established in childhood, adult life offers opportunities to reflect, grow, and modify attachment patterns. Self-awareness, effective communication, and building healthy relationships are key elements in strengthening and developing secure attachment in adult life.

Ultimately, secure attachment lays the foundation for an emotionally rich and satisfying life, contributing to the person's overall well-being throughout their development. Understanding and promoting secure attachment is crucial to fostering healthy relationships and emotionally strong communities.

Author: Kiddus Team

At Kiddus we take pride in creating high-quality accessories for kids that are both functional and fashionable. Our team is composed of professionals in the children's industry, including designers, engineers, and child development experts. We work together to create innovative and safe products that meet the needs of both children and parents. With years of experience and a passion for quality, we strive to exceed expectations and bring joy to families around the world.

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